| Counsellor's Desk | ||||||||||
 Ms. Neha Dutta
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 Ms. Richa Arora
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| Let’s Unplug to Recharge - (11 June 2024) | ||||||||||
| “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott. Do you always have your phone in your hand? Do you feel restless without it.? In a world dominated by screens and notifications, finding balance is crucial for our well-being. Let’s discover the art of unplugging to reconnect. |
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| I would like to take the opportunity to introduce myself. I am Richa Arora, practising Counselling Psychologist, registered with International Association of Holistic Psychology. Presently working in the school as a guidance Counsellor for the primary school. A graduate from Jesus and Mary College and Postgraduate in Counselling Psychology with specialisation in Education and Community Psychology from Amity University. To keep myself updated and to polish my skills I have pursued a Special Education Needs Coordinator Course from Orkids and a Postgraduate Diploma in Guidance and a Counselling. With a professional experience of working with Max Hospital and Bal Bharati Pubic School during the internship period. I have also worked as a Program Director and a Consultant Psychologist with SHAPES: Society for Health and Psychology Enables Services gaining a lot of exposure in organising workshops and dealing with clients in person. I have also been representing Delhi for a research project under National Brain Research Centre with Orkids Foundation, for standardising and publishing a screening tool DALI for screening children with Learning Disabilities. With a firm believer that every child has a different learning style and pace, they are unique with capable of learning and succeeding. Passionately working with children, I am dedicated in cultivating supportive, stimulating and inclusive environment that allows each child to be in connect with their spirits and reach to their fullest potential. Working with parents and teachers as a team, the main aim is to help the child to communicate with the world, using their abilities and to overcome obstacles presented by our culture. | ||||||||||
| RAISING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY HAPPY CHILDREN | ||||||||||
| Emotional Intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges, children have with their parents, teachers and with each other carry emotional messages. All of us go through parenthood wanting the best for our children, hoping to do more for them than their own .For more part, that all has changed, huge technological and economic advancement only left psychological and emotional growth lagging behind. We are completely caught up in and focused on physical health, unaware that everything in our body is a game of mind and heart and that still mental health has a stigma, and not physical though being completely intertwined. Emotions play a vital role in our lives, in layman language emotions is energy in motion, which works on the direction in which it is channelized positively or negatively. World often looks like it’s going crazy, people are dumping their pain, aggression and sorrow over others, seldom feeling accountable for themselves. If we are healthier emotionally, we would be healthy physically too. Becoming emotionally healthy is an ongoing process which needs germination right from the conception of the child. We are born, open and perspective. Kids are very alert and observant, highly intuitive and inquisitive. The environment around them nurtures them or hinders. Children need guidance to identify and articulate what they are experiencing, for successful navigation, emotional maps needs to be traced for them in order to make them express their feelings and emotions, we as adults also need to be truthful about our own feelings. As parents we try to keep our emotions like sadness, worry, anxiety etc. to ourselves and hide them from our kids, but to our surprise directly or indirectly our responses get influenced by the emotions twirling inside and we act or react accordingly. Children in these situations misinterpret and misunderstand about what they hear and what they see, creating discrepancy and confusion in the minds. This way they take wrong messages and nonverbal gestures and believe that when they undergo similar situations and feel similarly they ought to keep it within and move towards denial and projection. So the best thing to do here is to name the emotion being felt for example “I am a bit sad today or I am not feeling very good’ and responding accordingly. This way they will be able to identify the emotions they undergo, express them in more appropriate manner and hold no one responsible for their reactions. Parents to always key note is that children best learn by modelling. The only way to know what is going inside them is to have ask them questions, to show concern of how they feel, support and guide them, acknowledge their decisions, listen to them with unconditional acceptance and non-judgementally value their beliefs and opinions, but do not impose or dominate instead. It is important for all of us to remember, children are not us and not our extensions, rather unique individuals with their own thoughts, perspectives and choices. Parents are the frontline helpers to them, if we as adults accept how we feel, no matter how horrible it’s, then transform them, we will also not judge our child’s feeling which shall encourage them to move forwards with strength and positivity. Acknowledging them when they are right, nurtures child’s intuitiveness and bring stability in maintain relationships. This will help them to become emotionally healthy and positive humans. BE CURIOUS TO KNOW THEM, DEVELOP THEIR STRENGTH, AND NURTURE THEM. |
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| TEACHING CHILDREN EMPATHY- BUILDS SOCIAL SKILLS | ||||||||||
| Empathy ability to put yourself in other’s situation and expressing genuine concern about their feelings or life circumstances, being a key factor behind general human decency. It is empathy that separates us from being selfish beasts so that we instead care about other people. Selfishness comes naturally and empathy a skill which requires practise. Empathy is at the heart of what it means to be human. It’s a foundation for acting ethically, for good relationships of many kinds, for loving well, and for professional success. And it’s key to preventing bullying and many other forms of cruelty. Children often in peer group, in family, among siblings situationaly behave inappropriately and speak rudely and hurtful things. Empathy includes valuing other perspectives and people. It’s about perspective-taking and compassion. There are five main guidepost for parents to teach skills of empathy to their children, making them kind and grateful for what they and others have been blessed with. 1. Empathize with your child and model empathy for others- Children learn empathy both from watching us and from experiencing our empathy for them. When we empathize with our children they develop trusting, secure attachments with us. Those attachments are key to their wanting to adopt our values and to model our behaviour, and therefore to building their empathy for others. Empathizing with our children takes many forms, including tuning in to their physical and emotional needs, understanding and respecting their individual personalities, taking a genuine interest in their lives, and guiding them toward activities that reflect an understanding of the kind of people they are and the things they enjoy. 2. Make caring for others a priority and set high ethical expectations. If children are to value others’ perspectives and show compassion for them, it’s very important that they hear from their parents that caring about others is a top priority, and that it is just as important as their own happiness. Keep to a clear message. Consider the daily messages you send to children about the importance of caring. For example, instead of saying “The most important thing is that you’re happy,” you might say “The most important thing is that you’re kind and that you’re happy.” 3. Provide opportunities for children to practice empathy. Children are born with the capacity for empathy, but it needs to be nurtured throughout their lives. Regularly considering other people’s perspectives and circumstances helps make empathy a natural reflex and, through trial and error, helps children get better at tuning into others’ feelings and perspectives. Have family meetings. Hold family meetings when there are family challenges or conflicts, and in those meetings give children a voice and encourage them to take the perspective of other family members. Listen carefully to your children’s views and ask your children to listen carefully to the views of others. 4. Expand your child's circle of concern We often talk about empathy as a quantity. For example, we speak of children as having a lot of or a little empathy or as lacking empathy entirely. It is who they have empathy for. As parents and caretakers, it’s not only important that we model appreciation for many types of people. It’s important that we guide children in understanding and caring for many kinds of people who are different from them and who may be facing challenges very different from their own challenges. 5. Help children develop self-control and manage feelings effectively Often when children don’t express empathy it’s not because they don’t have it. It’s because some feeling or image is blocking their empathy. Often the ability to care for others is overwhelmed, for example, by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings. Helping children manage these negative feelings as well as stereotypes and prejudices about others is often what “releases” their empathy. |
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| Special Education at a Glance | ||||||||||
| Special needs children are children who, due to significant medical, physical, cognitive, emotional, or learning issues, require different, usually more intensive accommodations from schools and learning environments than do typical children. For example, children with Dyslexia become easily lost and disoriented during regular class instruction because they don't understand the letters and words as easily as their classmates. Children with ADHD can require extra organizational support with regard to note-taking, homework and testing. Without the presence of classroom accommodations designed to address each of these children's special needs, they would likely fail to meet their academic potential. Special education is a way to address the educational need of an individual with learning difficulties. This process involves the individualised planning and systematic monitoring of the procedure. Sp. Edu system ensure that student with learning problemsareprovideda conducive environment that allows to explore their strengths and deal effectively with their educational limitations. The system not only looks After the ability and limitation but also focusses on their social skill training, pre-vocational and vocational training etc. Sp. Edu facilitates the learning styles of students with learning issues. these students may have difficulty withreading, writing, comprehension and learning. |
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| Power to Choose | ||||||||||
| “If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh Dedicate today to the power of choice. Your choice. You can’t choose everything that you experience in life, but what you can choose is mightier than any circumstance, outcome, or other person’s opinion. Where you focus your mind, how you use your words, and how you treat yourself and others are all up to you. One chapter at a time, you write your own story. We all have the power to choose what we absorb and what we release. We ultimately decide what we share, what we keep, and what we let go. How long we stay mad and how long we wait to reach for hope, when we say yes and when we say no, and how long we say only what others want to hear are all up to us. Whether we see the world with gratitude or resentment begins with a choice. It’s not that anyone chooses pain, though. I can’t think of a single person who’d choose despair or insecurity. No one elects shame to be their shadow. Not even boredom is a choice. We just forget our power sometimes or maybe underestimate the power of our intentions. I can choose how closely I pay attention to my thoughts and how I respond to what I feel. Even if hours go by, days, years, it’s never too late to make a different choice. From that place of remembering, all the positive, empowering choices available to me emerge from the mental fog. I can choose to ask a question, solve a problem, or call for help. I can choose to take a walk, meditate, have a snack, water the flowers, or count my blessings. Each positive step leads to more and more positive choices. So many things are out of my control, and I’m learning to let go of wanting it to be otherwise. I understand now that this only happens through my choice. What I’m learning from this is there’s so much to be deliberate about and so many ways to choose. You can choose to set a small boundary when you’re exhausted from keeping the peace. I choose to be true to myself. May my honesty restore what’s been depleted. You can choose to broadcast loving-kindness when you see the images of suffering in the news. May all beings be safe from harm. May all beings return to peace. May all beings find freedom. There’s always something you can choose. So, choose soothing, however you’re able. Choose to look for things to feel good about. And if nothing else, choose to be as intentional as you can. Always with acceptance for the part of you that forgets. Starting now, starting small, remind yourself of your power to choose. Here’s how: Begin with yourself. Offer whatever you have on you right now — your beating heart, your breath, your hands, your eyes reading these words — to your power to choose. With that power, dedicate this moment in time to your health or happiness, to a new story, or anything that resonates with you. I dedicate this breath to my happiness. I dedicate this day to my health. With every word I read, may I remember my power to choose. From there, if you feel inspired, add on to it with another choice: Take a positive step that supports your health and happiness. Make plans to do the same tomorrow. If no step calls out to you, that’s okay. Smile and thank yourself for this choice all the same. And then, take whatever action presents itself to you. If no action is available, that’s okay. Smile and know that you’ve strengthened your power to choose all the same. Pay attention to what happens as you practice this. Perhaps you’ll notice new ideas flowing more easily. Maybe you’ll feel motivated to take a positive step you’ve put off for a while. If all that happens is feeling more awake and empowered, then it’s well worth the effort! No matter what arises in your day or in your heart, remember there’s always something you can choose. May we all remember the power we have. |
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| “A man who removes mountain, begins by carrying small stones”, a Chinese proverb defines how difficulty in every sphere of our life can be resolved. As a School counsellor sits to resolve difficulty faced by young children in academics, social interaction, conduct problems or are low on confidence and motivation, it is vital to work step by step. With goals set and honoured, every little achievement is taken as reward in the kitty. From counselling the parents on how to bring up their little darlings with the changing time amidst the challenges of technology and the evolving educational system, every day is thought-provoking and equally inspiring. Compassion, Patience and perseverance with kids is the only key to a successful intervention. The difficulty or a disorder as many say, is not a tag, rather a name that has can be dealt and succoured. Our best efforts need to be work holistically to achieve the most, possible out of a young mind. With that, we walk everyday helping the children with special needs to achieve the finest of their abilities with unsurpassed guidance, support and a shield to assist in preparing them to be the “best of themselves”. |
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| There comes a time when the risk to remain uptight in a bud is more painful that the risk it takes to blossom. Let us facilitate our children’s blossoming, as they learn from not only the hard tasks but also from soft touches. So, softly strike the right chord of parenting. I agree that life isn’t a neat little script that can be memorized and performed. The real life drama catches us unprepared and at times we may do and say things we regret, we do not mean at all, yet there is never a point of no return. There are a few basic principles we can depend upon :
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| To sum up, we as parents must possess the high flying spirit of guiding and motivating our children. Our children are special to us. Let’s enjoy our belongings with the acceptance of the hard fact that Birth is much, Nurturing is more . . . | ||||||||||
| 10 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself | ||||||||||
| Everyday, you have another chance to make things better. Some days are better than others. On those days that go less well, we usually end up being hard on ourselves. Here are some tools to avoid doing so. 1. Keep going. Don't let life's changes throw you off track, but remember that most difficult circumstances are temporary. Gain more clarity by staying the course and channeling your energy in a positive direction. 2. Trust yourself. Believe in your inner resources, no matter what, and you'll grow from the experience. I believe that the answers usually lie within and you are probably smart enough to figure out what you need to do. Give yourself a little time and have patience. 3. Be friends with life. Remember that the world is not out to get you and it does not punish you. You do that to yourself. Learning to focus on other opportunities or in another direction can give you some perspective. 4. Watch your thoughts. Your thinking will never be 100 percent positive. You must learn to dismiss the negative thoughts and stay open to other ideas that will help you move in a positive direction. Start recognizing negative thoughts and use your mind to quell them. 5. Summon the strength you have inside. Learn to access and direct your strengths to the highest good for all concerned. Believe that your strength and intelligence can help you deal with anything. Remember that you have survived worse. 6. Learn to love yourself. You do not have to be who you are today, and your life is not scripted. Changing how you feel about yourself means creating a strategy, gathering some new tools, and making yourself into the person you want to be. A good way to start is to stop doing things that hurt. 7. Don't want too much. Desire can be a powerful motivating tool, but wanting something too much can be very painful and very expensive, so don't live beyond your means or covet the unattainable. Seek your desire, but keep your integrity. 8. Recognize that disappointment is part of life. Even the most successful people have to deal with disappointment, but they've learned how to use it to get to the next level of life. The trick is to process your feelings, then take some kind of action. 9. Deal with your fears. Overcoming fear makes you stronger, and being a little scared can make you better. You want to have butterflies; you just want them flying in formation. It helps to understand and admit your fears. Then you can kick them to the curb. 10. Feel good about yourself. No matter what life brings. Know that each time you wake up, you have another chance to make things better. Don't waste it. |
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| Your Thought Shape Your Reality | ||||||||||
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| When you doubt your power | ||||||||||
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| “When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” - Honore de Balzac You know what that voice in your head says… You can’t do it. You’ll never be good enough. You’re going to fail. This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary. You know you shouldn’t let self-doubt bother you, but it’s a sneaky critter. Sometimes, you just can’t contain it and it slips past your barriers. And self-doubt is greedy. When it’s loose, it devours your confidence, strips logic and reason from your mind, and steals happiness from your heart. In return, it leaves you with only fear and insecurity. Try using these steps :
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| Positive Thinking | ||||||||||
| Setbacks are inherent to almost every worthwhile human activity, and a number of studies show that optimists are in general both psychologically and physiologically healthier." Even if positive thinking does not come naturally to you, there are plenty of great reasons to start cultivating affirmative thoughts and minimizing negative self-talk. Optimism Can Improve Your Immunity In recent years, researchers have found that your mind can have a powerful effect on your body. Immunity is one area where your thoughts and attitudes can have a particularly powerful influence. In one study, researchers found that activation in brain areas associated with negative emotions led to a weaker immune response to a flu vaccine. Researchers Segerstrom and Sephton found that people who were optimistic about a specific and important part of their lives, such as how well they were doing in school, exhibited a stronger immune response than those who had a more negative view of the situation. Positive Thinking Is Good for Your Health Not only can positive thinking impact your ability to cope with stress and your immunity, it also has an impact on your overall well-being. The Mayo Clinic reports a number of health benefits associated with optimism, including a reduced risk of death from cardiovascular problems, less depression, and an increased lifespan. While researchers are not entirely clear on why positive thinking benefits health, some suggest that positive people might lead healthier lifestyles. By coping better with stress and avoiding unhealthy behaviors, they are able to improve their health and well-being. |
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| The responsibility is yours It is my responsibility the secret to success is that simple. A recent passion of mine was to understand what makes a legend, a legend. How are these special few able to become such inspirations, while the majority lead lives which appear ordinary at the best? Finally, I know a single-line philosophy can change everything around: “If it is in my life, it is my responsibility”. The man thrown on the railway platform could have blamed the officer or cried at his bad luck, but he did not. Instead he took the responsibility for what happened to him. The result? An ordinary barrister emerged as the Father of the Nation. She could have wept, and questioned God for creating the extreme poverty outside her school, but she did not. Instead she took responsibility for what she saw. The Result? Years after she passed away, Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity feed millions of people each day. Too often, I have given in to the temptation of blaming other’s for what was going wrong in my life. Last year my Best Friend Died, she was just 26 of a disease. I wanted to pursue an M.Phil from abroad but couldn’t make it due to family pressure. I began to resent my parents and friends for not understanding me which made matters only worse. However, once this sentence “If it is in my life, it is my responsibility” came into my life, I realized that if I wanted to create opportunities and attain certain luxuries, I should be able to fund them myself. This simple change enabled me to begin a lucrative project which is also deeply enriching. Today I realize that tough times didn’t last but the invaluable lessons they taught me did. No experience was unnecessary. Although I did not have the wisdom then, I know. “If it is in my life, it is my responsibility”. I no longer shun my life and the responsibility that comes along. The result? I feel I am living a dream. I don’t leave things to chance or to another person, until I have fulfilled my part of deal. If my health is not fine, I take control. If my relationship with a friend is not as close as before, instead of waiting for her to call, I take responsibility to call her. I make it a point that my parent’s needs are properly taken care for. Expectations from others or life at least to a small extent has turned into expectation from self. The best part about his is the moment I stopped expecting others to provide me with happiness, love and financial security, and decided it was my responsibility and worked towards it, life turned its cards in my favor. From the smallest of issues, like the coffee not being to my liking, to larger ones like dealing with my parent’s health issues and mine too, I will do my best and only then, will life do the rest. Let us not turn the equation around and spend our lives in expecting what we want from life…LETS PROVIDE for ourselves… |
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